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It has come to my attention: I need a new attitude. I need a new outlook. I can sit and mope all day long. I can cry my eyes out (and I should because this is devastating) but now I need to step the fuck back. And I need to concentrate on what I need and what I want.

Tomorrow, I will finally see him. Afterwards, I will take a hot bath and read this lovely new book I’ve just borrowed. Then, I’ll take a nice nap. I’ll wake up, do some yoga, work on my music (which has been severely neglected until yesterday), and mop the floors. I’m going to take care of myself like I should have been doing days ago. This is not the end of the world.

I believe everything is going to work out. Everything always does. He will be okay. I will be okay. He’s going to be gone for a while but I fully believe it will be a short amount of time because he’s a good man. I am literally praying to God that this will be a wake up call and once his time is served, he’s going to be healthy and we will figure things out together. I will. He will. We will. I love this man and my unhappiness will not help anybody. So even with this predicament in our way, I’m not putting my life on hold. I’m going to push through. I’ll stay strong because I know he is doing the same and I’ll be happy with what I have. The world doesn’t need another ending so I’m not going to let it become one. This will be okay. Please hear me out, God.